Crazy Days

Today started off horribly, with a horrible night's sleep. I didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to go to work, but I did. One of my new mantras is to look for the positive, so I got up, got dressed, and got it done. I tried to think of a positive way to turn a lack of sleep into a great day... but I came up with nothing. Robot mode won this morning. A glance at my Fitbit sleep record showed that out of the 7 hours I was in bed, I spent 3 of them tossing and turning and ended up with about 4 hours of sleep. Really not enough!

Looking in my little LnE bag this morning, I wasn't impressed. I spent the morning thinking about the delicious things I was going to buy for lunch from the cafe across the road. 9:30am arrived, and with it my first reminder email to head off for a walk. I set these reminders before I got married - one at 9:30am, one at 12, and one at 2pm - to remind me to get up and go for a walk for 15 minutes. I usually waste my breaks on the interwebs, but realised that 3x15 minute walks broken up during the day = 45 minutes LESS I have to spend walking before or after work. EVERY DAY.

The reminder popped up, I got up, put my headphones in, and headed out. Round the block and back to my desk. Still not thrilled about the offering from LnE, I spent the next two hours daydreaming about KFC. Then I changed my mind. I wanted warm, I wanted carbs, I wanted creamy. A quick glance in my cooler bag found that my lunch today was, in fact, due to be warm, creamy, carby, Chicken and Vegetable Risotto. Fate? Perhaps. Did I listen? No.

The email popped up again - 12pm. Walk time! I put my debit card in my pocket (to swing past the cafe on the way back) and my headphones in my ears, and off I trotted. 15 minutes later, I was back at my desk, having walked around the block and forgotten to go to the cafe. I whacked the Risotto in the microwave, and tucked in to the most delicious meal - the one that fulfilled all my cravings, AND the best choice for this life I'm trying to make here. I don't know why I feel like I'm missing out if I don't buy my lunch from the cafe. It's not like I spend my lunch break with anyone... My lunch was exactly what I wanted, yet I spent all morning lusting after something else.

I think it's because I've told myself I won't buy my lunch until AT LEAST when we get home from our honeymoon. It's only two work weeks, but saying no to myself makes me feel so restricted - I almost panic over it. That is crazy - absolutely insane. Why?

I got home and Dave had bought a baked cheesecake so I've had some of that for dessert tonight. More than I should have, and now I'm paying for it. I've been to the toilet 4 times....