Life is a rollercoaster, and I want to get off today. After the high of completing my 60km walk, I've had a shocking week. Apart from being sore and tired, there was no reason why I should be feeling like this. No reason why I should have eaten too much, not exercised.... but I did exactly that.
This week, I've eaten almost double my daily calorie allowance every day. I've not hit my 10,000 steps. I've hardly drunk any water. I've made terrible decisions and I don't know why.
But I do know why. I've used my 'big walk' as an excuse to slack off. Well, today, that will change. I'm meeting a friend for a movie this afternoon, so we decided that this morning, we'll walk for an hour (she also is struggling at the moment and has some weight to lose), then go to Subway for lunch, then see the movie (with no snacks!). When I get home I've got some chorey to do for the cali class that I teach, and I've also got to practice what we learned in my own class last week. I'll have a sensible LnE dinner, drink as much water as I can, and assess the damage at weigh-in in the morning.
It's not going to be pretty, but it's going to be honest. I've given myself six days of doing whatever I want with food and exercise, and I feel like shit. I'm tired, I'm sluggish, I'm bloated, and if I'm honest, I don't want to feel like this, regardless of how tasty the food is and how nice it is to sit on the couch. Over the last few days, I've spent so much time on my ass - I've skipped my walking breaks at work (and achieved no more in a day than if I did them), skipped training sessions to sit in the car waiting for my husband to finish work (and eaten crap while sitting there), and come home to sit on the couch watching TV I didn't enjoy. I wish I could bottle this feeling, so when I'm exhausted and sore from exercising, staring at the chocolate bars in the supermarket... I could take it out and remember what it feels like to be a fat lazy slob.
I don't want to be this girl any more.
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