I'm THAT person.

A recent study showed that people are sick of people who always talk about what diet they're on. I'm one of those people - not the one who's sick of the person, but the person who's always banging on about calories and exercise and food. There are certain people who I discuss ONLY this with - we have nothing else in common. There are other people who ask about my progress, so I feel I must tell them everything, even if they only asked to be polite.

Why do I do this? Because it excites me. It keeps me motivated. It keeps me accountable.

But it hasn't worked. Clearly. I'm still 40kg overweight, and it's been 4 years. I'm only 15kg down from my highest weight and over the last 6 weeks or so I've put on almost 10kg because I'm not focused on what's important. I'm quite focused on shoving whatever calorie-laden, carb-filled meal I can find into my gob. Not an effective strategy.

So I'm changing. Less talking, more doing. I've had 3 good days where I've exercised, eaten well, and focused more on why I'm doing this, instead of dwelling on why I haven't finished yet. Deciding what I want more - a healthy outlook or a delicious meal. Working out how I can still have a delicious meal without the calories - making better choices during the day or substituting certain items or plans for others, so that I still get to eat tasty food, but it doesn't take over my life.

Everything I'm reading lately suggests that it's way more about the food you eat than the exercise you do. I'm proof. I could exercise until the cows come home, but that block of chocolate ruins everything. I'm not able to eat sweet food in moderation - whatever size the package is, I eat the whole thing. So I really can't eat sweet food regularly. I can't REALLY eat it at all, if I'm being honest. This makes me sad. Not as sad as dying early or being fat for the rest of my life, but still pretty sad.

These last few days have given me hope that I can do it. I've eaten some pretty tasty things. I've been hungry, but I've not been dizzy or faint or light-headed. I've listened to my body and delayed starting my food day until a little bit later, because I know that as soon as I start eating I want to continue. I've listened to my body and had a proper, filling, snack a couple of hours before dinner so that I'm not starving when dinner time comes around. I've had different options available for meal-times so that I can choose between two healthier choices instead of throwing in the towel and ordering a pizza or swinging past a drive-through because I don't fancy what I'd originally planned. And most importantly, I've really thought about what I'm eating instead of throwing caution to the wind and just having whatever I want. I'm thinking about what's worked for me in the past, what has absolutely NOT worked for me, and opening my mind to new possibilities instead of bashing my head against the wall with the knowledge I have.

And now I'm being THAT person again. I guess a leopard really doesn't change it's spots, but I'm super excited about my new found enthusiasm.