I'm ashamed to say, I'm judgy-judgy when it comes to grammar!

Actually, I'm not ashamed. I judge people who can't spell or use grammar correctly. Apostrophes are my only 'free pass' because sometimes I'm not even sure when it is (it's? its?) right to use them.

Lately I've been looking for some new blogs to follow, and as soon as I read an entry that has terrible grammar or sentence structure I switch off and cannot read any further. Now I went to a fairly good school, but I don't ever recall being corrected on my grammar. I read. A lot. And I'd like to think my love of reading has been my education when it comes to writing and expressing myself, instead of my formal education.

When I attempted Uni, I was horrified that marks came from not the content of the essay, but the structure and conventions. I could have a well thought out, well written argument and still get horrible marks because I didn't format with one and a half spacing and my referencing was in the wrong order. What are we teaching people? Not to think for themselves, but to follow convention thought out 100 years ago... Needless to say I didn't last long. I couldn't handle the fact that those who couldn't spell or use a full stop would pass and I wouldn't. To be honest, it's the only thing holding me back from further study - all the petty rules.

Grammar, however, is not petty. It's civilised.

I had a friend who wrote long winded text messages and instant chats, always without punctuation, and mostly with incorrect spelling. It would take me minutes instead of seconds to read these messages because I could not, for the life of me, work out what the hell she was trying to say. I would make fun of it, firstly as a joke, but then it got really irritating. It's not the reason we're not friends any more, but gee I don't miss her messages!

My grammar isn't perfect, but I sure as hell want others to correct it for me. I take these hints and tips on board. I don't correct others unless we've had this discussion and they want to improve, but it doesn't stop me from doing it in my head, and judging them for their errors. I automatically think a little less of a person just because they can't grasp seemingly simple concepts and language rules. If that makes me a bitch... well then I wear that crown with pride.

What are some of the things that irritate you about grammar?

I'm melting.... MELTING!!

Seriously... it's ridiculously hot here. 10pm and 29 degrees celsius. I think it got somewhere near 43 today. That's insane! Work has been pretty good aircon wise, with it staying under 30 degrees in the office all day. That's pretty good, considering the size of the building and the number of people. Our building is nicknamed 'The G' as it's the same floor space as the MCG cricket ground (just the grass, not the complex!) and houses 400 staff, a manufacturing lab, training centre, customer service, EVERYTHING you could imagine for the complete running of a business, on a massive scale.

At home, it's a different story... One pissy little aircon unit for a 3 bedroom house. It has been working overtime recently! With the last 3 days over 40 degrees and a predicted 44 tomorrow... I'm glad it's attempting to cool our house down. With a system of fans down the hallway and into the bedrooms we seem to have pushed SOME cool air through the house, but it's still uncomfortable :(

3 nights of not sleeping and I'm looking a bit....

... when the alarm goes off of a morning. Minus the bedcovers because who does that when it's over 30 degrees in your bedroom??

On the upside, in just 4 sleeps, we'll be on the other side of the world, throwing snow at each other and complaining about how freezing it is and why can't we have some sun and where is the extra doona and why didn't I pack fourteen jumpers?? I can't wait!!!!!!!

Get back on the bike!

I did that today - got back on the bike. 2 years ago I was riding every day - 16km round trip as I lived just behind the bike track. Since I've moved in with Dave, I've hardly ridden, even though the bike track is ACROSS THE ROAD. Today, I bit the bullet, pumped up the tyres, whacked a water bottle in the holder, put my sunnies on and earphones in, and away I went.

Thighs burning, butt screaming, pedalling like a maniac... I was home. I LOVE riding. I forgot how much I LOVE riding. I love that I can get on the bike, and go. Go somewhere. Feel the wind on my face, the sun on my arms, the sweat all over. My heart races, mainly from excitement, a little from the exertion.

I rode 21km this afternoon, in about 75 minutes. Not a strenuous ride by any stretch, but more of a leisurely ramble. The new bike track was lovely to explore - it's not new to anyone except me, in fact it's very old and poorly maintained. It runs along the Western Ring Road and I somehow managed to end up nowhere near where I thought I was. I really need to get onto Google Maps and work out if there's a way I can ride to work. 

I live about 25km from where I work, and it's probably closer to 45km on bike paths as they tend to meander. If I was to ride to work, I'd ride in the morning one day, have Dave drive me home and to work the next day, and then ride home

Oh... and I saw a bunny!!!

A very much longed-for Doona Day.

Mmmmm I had a Doona Day today. I feel a smidge guilty for calling in sick to work, but at the same time I really needed a good sleep, a bit of a wind down, and a rest day. I'm completely up to date at work, and am rostered to work Saturday so will only have one day off this weekend. Next week will be full-on both at work and at home as I prepare to go on month's leave (HONEYMOON!!!) and I know Sunday will not be enough to recharge to get through those last few days.

Yes, I'm a slacker. In my defence, my last sick day would have been in September, maybe? I don't take them often. There are people in my team who check their entitlement regularly, and once they've accrued a sick day, they're off the next day. I have two week's leave saved up - a year's worth of entitlement. While I'm not an advocate of taking a sickie for no reason, I do believe in mental health days, or Doona Days, once in a while.

So what did I do with my Doona Day? Firstly, I slept in. And what a glorious sleep in it was. The husband has been on annual leave since just before Christmas, and doesn't go back to work until we get home, so it's been very hard getting up each morning on my own and heading out to work. It was nice this morning to just snuggle and wake up slowly, than to be rudely awoken by an irritating buzzing noise and crawl out of bed, staggering to the bathroom.

We had a lazy breakfast (LnE of course!), followed by a couple of hours of lazing about - lazing about included hanging out washing, doing dishes, and a bit of tidying up though, so it wasn't completely wasted! I watched the P!nk concert DVD which we've just purchased and the memories of the concert came flooding back. I'm totally going to see the lovely Miss P!nk every time she's in Australia!

After that was all done, we headed out to get some shopping done for the trip. The USA is being gripped by the freakiest cold weather right now, and being in (mostly) sunny Melbourne we clearly are not prepared for that kind of weather. We both needed waterproof hiking boots, gloves, hats, and jackets. We managed to get most of the stuff - I didn't get a jacket because apparently fat people don't need 'active' winter gear so they don't make them in sizes above 16. I did try to squeeze into the 16, but if I was wearing anything other than the light t-shirt I had on, it wasn't going to be comfortable. Of course I'll be wearing many layers on holiday so I'm hoping that there will be some options at the airport, or when we arrive in NY. Not being winter here, the only stuff left was on clearance from our winter season, so I had very little chance of finding something suitable anyway. I was still a little disappointed, but that's what happens when you're bigger!

Back home for lunch and an afternoon of vegging on the couch watching Vampire Diaries (#teamDamon) and getting up every so often to walk on the spot for a few minutes. With the shopping and the walking, I got my 10,000 for the day. Happy Dance!

Back to the grind tomorrow...

Crazy Days

Today started off horribly, with a horrible night's sleep. I didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to go to work, but I did. One of my new mantras is to look for the positive, so I got up, got dressed, and got it done. I tried to think of a positive way to turn a lack of sleep into a great day... but I came up with nothing. Robot mode won this morning. A glance at my Fitbit sleep record showed that out of the 7 hours I was in bed, I spent 3 of them tossing and turning and ended up with about 4 hours of sleep. Really not enough!

Looking in my little LnE bag this morning, I wasn't impressed. I spent the morning thinking about the delicious things I was going to buy for lunch from the cafe across the road. 9:30am arrived, and with it my first reminder email to head off for a walk. I set these reminders before I got married - one at 9:30am, one at 12, and one at 2pm - to remind me to get up and go for a walk for 15 minutes. I usually waste my breaks on the interwebs, but realised that 3x15 minute walks broken up during the day = 45 minutes LESS I have to spend walking before or after work. EVERY DAY.

The reminder popped up, I got up, put my headphones in, and headed out. Round the block and back to my desk. Still not thrilled about the offering from LnE, I spent the next two hours daydreaming about KFC. Then I changed my mind. I wanted warm, I wanted carbs, I wanted creamy. A quick glance in my cooler bag found that my lunch today was, in fact, due to be warm, creamy, carby, Chicken and Vegetable Risotto. Fate? Perhaps. Did I listen? No.

The email popped up again - 12pm. Walk time! I put my debit card in my pocket (to swing past the cafe on the way back) and my headphones in my ears, and off I trotted. 15 minutes later, I was back at my desk, having walked around the block and forgotten to go to the cafe. I whacked the Risotto in the microwave, and tucked in to the most delicious meal - the one that fulfilled all my cravings, AND the best choice for this life I'm trying to make here. I don't know why I feel like I'm missing out if I don't buy my lunch from the cafe. It's not like I spend my lunch break with anyone... My lunch was exactly what I wanted, yet I spent all morning lusting after something else.

I think it's because I've told myself I won't buy my lunch until AT LEAST when we get home from our honeymoon. It's only two work weeks, but saying no to myself makes me feel so restricted - I almost panic over it. That is crazy - absolutely insane. Why?

I got home and Dave had bought a baked cheesecake so I've had some of that for dessert tonight. More than I should have, and now I'm paying for it. I've been to the toilet 4 times....

A tale of 21.632 steps

This morning I checked up on my Fitbit dashboard to see the damage I'd done for the week. I have a weekly target of 70,000 steps, and had been to the gym both Thursday and Friday, and ran around like a crazy person on Monday getting everything ready for the wedding. I even gymmed Saturday after working for a few hours because I knew I wouldn't once I got home. The couch is so darn comfy..

Anyhoo, I had 21,200 steps to go to reach my weekly target. It would have been less, had I worn my fitty on my wedding day (who does that!?) but the numbers don't lie and I kind of have a goal this year to hit my weekly target EVERY WEEK. What's a girl to do when she usually can only get 12,000 in a 90 minute session in the gym? Just do it.

I had to swap something over at Kmart, so I walked there and back. It's roughly 6km as a round trip, so that got me started. I wanted to catch up on some blogs that I've started following, so I dusted off my tablet and started stepping on the spot. It's now 10pm, and I've done it. 21,632 steps today brings me to my total of 70,000 steps for the week - I'm even 400 over because I lost track of time.

I've eaten terribly today - a big bag of chips and takeaway for dinner means that tomorrow morning's weigh-in will be a sodium fuelled, water filled, hot mess. I'm drinking heaps of water tonight in the hopes of flushing some of that out in my morning wee (wake, wee, weigh!) but really not crossing my fingers for an awesome result. I know, though, that I can do this - my attitude is slowly changing. We got a veritable smorgasbord of food for dinner tonight and I made sure to take less that I would usually. I didn't go back for seconds, I wrapped all the leftovers and put them straight in the fridge for Dave to pig out on tomorrow. I feel full 2 hours later so I know I ate too much, but for once I am recognising these feelings of fullness and realising what they are. Mindful eating is something I'm very interested in, but right now I'm struggling to make those connections in my head - am I hungry? Am I full? Do I need to eat this or do I WANT to eat this?

I'm going to be drinking a heap more water for the next few days, and really trying to think before I eat this week at work. There shouldn't be any goodies now that the Christmas period is over, so there will be no temptations - I'll eat lunch when I'm hungry (after eating a decent breakfast!) and only snack if necessary. My first 'reach' will be for water - I'm quite convinced that I eat because I'm thirsty as well as bored, so this should kill a few triggers for now.

Back to work tomorrow - six days this week, then 5 days next week, and then.... HONEYMOON!!!

The obligatory 'About Me' post

I'm sure there are things that you need to know, and things that you want to know, and things that I'm going to tell you that you don't need or want to know... but here's a little bit about me.

I turned 30 in May 2013, and got engaged the same day. We got married on Dec 31, 2013 (oooh 4 days married.... such a pro already!). I had dreams of being at goal weight for my 30th, but life got in the way and that didn't happen. When I say 'life got in the way', I mean 'excuses got in the way' and 'chocolate is delicious' and you know where those two phrases get you...

I am a calisthenics girl, born and bred. I started when I was 5, it's been my life for 25 years. I don't know life without it, but this year I'm going to experience it (a little bit, anyway) as I've given up performing/competing and am only coaching this year. I've been qualified as a coach for 12 years, but have never taught a team on my own, so this year I decided to put myself out there and jump at the chance. I'm teaching a group of 10-13 year olds, which will be different from the 7-9 year olds I helped out with last year. They'll be a little older, a little smarter, and have a whole lot more attitude, I'm sure. We'll see how that goes, I suppose!

I come from a fairly large family - when we get together with Mum's side there are over 50 of us. In my immediate family I have 3 brothers, and one of them has 4 children, so even that family is pretty big. My husband and I plan on adding to that very soon, pretty much as soon as we get back from our honeymoon in early February. One of my brothers lives in Canada, the other two are here in Melbourne. Surprisingly, my parents are still married (very rare these days!) and are due to celebrate their 34th wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks. I'm proud of them, and have a big challenge ahead to make my marriage as successful as theirs. They've taught me that it's all about work - you get out what you put in, and you have to work TOGETHER to make it happen.

Dave and I have been together for about 2 and a half years - we met on eHarmony (get on it!) and have been virtually inseparable since the night we met in person. We don't live in each other's pockets, we have our own interests and hobbies. It's great to have some 'me time', and it's great to be together on the couch. We really do miss each other when one of us is away for a period of time - I stayed at my parent's place for two nights before the wedding and it was so nice to see Dave after 2 days and really appreciate how much we are just 'there' for each other, even when we don't realise. Let's see if my feelings change after spending 3 weeks in each other's pockets on our honeymoon...

And now the big one... I'm a fatty. It's not derogatory, it's the truth. I've always been bigger, I've accepted that because my mum and dad both have weight problems, it's just the way it's meant to be. I've learned their habits with food, and now I'm trying to break them. I refuse to be the fat girl for the rest of my life, but I know it's going to take a lot of work, effort, sweat, food-denial, tears, and thigh rubbing to get to where I need to be - a healthy weight. I'm not, however, willing to starve myself, hurt myself, or lose who I am in order to get there. It's a fine line between dedication and obsession, and I don't want to cross it. I don't want to change who I am inside while I'm changing who I am outside.

One final thing, nothing is TMI. I talk about poo, a lot. I fart. I tell inappropriate jokes. I don't profess to be a lady, and nor do I want to be one. I am who I am, and that won't change. I'm just changing the packaging - I'll still be filled with a glass and a half of dairy milk goodness.

Welcome to Me!

Hello friends!

I used to blog here, but with the new year comes a new mindset and I decided I needed to leave that blog behind and get into some fresh habits.

What's in a name? I'm now 'The New Improving Mrs P' - I got married on NYE 2013, so am changing my name. Changing my name means changing everything - email address, EVERYTHING to do with my phone, all accounts at everywhere electronic... my mind is racing just thinking about it. 2014 will be about change for me - changing my name, changing my mindset, changing my body. I'm the 'new' Mrs P, and I'm also 'improving' all of those aspects of my life. I have to make sure that in all of this, I keep in the forefront of my mind the importance of staying true to myself.

It's no secret that I battle with my weight, but the true secret is that the biggest battle is in my head. I'm constantly sabotaging myself and I have no idea why. It's my mission this year to get to the root of this, to really work out why I do what I do - why, in the end, the food always wins. I don't know where to start with this exploration, so if you have ANY ideas, please let me know.

I want this blog to reach more people than my last, for it to be a little more interactive, definitely more positive, a platform for me and others to discuss, bounce ideas, and share in our triumphs and tragedies. Feel free to email me at kellymareeparry@gmail.com, comment here, share the entries, spread the word.

It's often said that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail, so here's the plan for 2014:

-Enjoy the honeymoon (Jan 20-Feb 10, NY, Canada, LA... can't wait!!) sensibly - no reckless abandon, but the drill sergeant is on holidays
-Continue Lite N Easy (forever known as LnE)
-Continue tracking food and exercise using MyFitnessPal (MFP) and Fitbit
-Continue attending gym regularly
-Get back on the bike (bicycle trails have just been redone in my area)
-Stop eating in secret

Eating in secret is my biggest downfall - I go to the shops, using money I've set aside in a different account so my (now husband) can't notice. I buy bags full of food, I stuff myself silly, and I pretend it didn't happen. I make excuses to go out on my own, swing past a drive-thru, hide the evidence.

I've got LnE, I've got MFP, I've got my Fitbit. I've got the support of my husband. I've got everything I need. Now where to start on the 'fixing the head' part?