Day 5 - Cleanse Day 2

It was a very different day to what I expected. Here's what I expected:

I expected to be hungry. To be ravenous. To wake up starving and spend the rest of the day wanting to chew my own arm off.

Here's what happened:

I woke up. I did the food shopping. I made a lemon slice, and prepared the filling for chicken pies. I started a new Facebook page for this blog, and designed and made a logo for the page.

I spent altogether too much time doing that.

I put together my new vision board, wrote some lists of things I want to do and get done, decorated and set up my new planner for 2015

And I had my cleanse drinks and snacks and didn't think too much about food.

Oh, and I found this quote which seemed perfect for the day:

"Focus on the good you are doing for your body, rather than getting upset about the things you can't have."

Things are happening. I like it.

I got through the double cleanse no worries. Looks like cleanse days are planning days from now on!

Day 4: The dreaded cleanse day!

This morning came along and I was slightly apprehensive. I mean, I can do the shakes for a couple of meals and the slew of tablets in the morning, but I wasn't sure I could do the 'no chewing or swallowing anything other than water or slightly berry flavoured water' thing.

The cleanse is designed so that your body gets only what it needs, while giving your digestive system a break from digesting ridiculous foods and having a rest. Then the digestive system can have a clearout of everything it forgot to do over the last few years (like finding that frypan you didn't wash properly hidden away in the back of the cupboard) and get that sorted.

I thought I would be a lot hungrier than I am, and sitting here at 11pm on the first day I'm feeling positive about tomorrow. The theory is that you do this for two days, twice a month. Or you can do it for one day a week. I'm doing the super-aggressive extra weight releasing double cleanse, three times a month - meaning that over the 30 days, I do six cleanse days and 24 shake days. Given that I've got 60kg to lose, I can surely afford the extra two days a month until I'm halfway there!

The cleanse drink isn't my favourite - I would probably have preferred a citrus flavour over the berry flavour - but it's certainly better than the stuff you have to drink 30ml of each morning. It's a nice change from water though, and given that's they only thing on the menu, I'm happy for the change. I'm surprised that every time I thought I felt hungry, I had a drink of water and the feeling passed. I'm convinced that I've never actually felt hunger before - and maybe this is a lesson to me about my body's cues. Thirst can often be mistaken for hunger and I'm pretty sure I've only ever been thirsty. I might change my mind after tomorrow and find out what genuine hunger feels like.

I discovered upon checking in with my mentor though, that I had neglected the snacks and so had a veritable feast after my final cleanse drink of a couple of chockies (infused with all sorts of deliciousness) and a couple of 'wafers' (that look and taste like ovalteenies! yum!). I'll be going to bed feeling not so bad!

And on the third day...

Day 3, and the journey is getting easier. I slept in again (thank you holidays!) so didn't have too long between meals today. Lunch was a very-well-thought-out meal of salmon and veg, which went down so much better than the burger or the creamy pasta. Veggies definitely need to be had in the midday meal.

I've also experienced the effects of the IsaFlush tablets today - which were quite unsettling as I didn't expect dirty water to be coming out of me and prompted a quick post on the group's Facebook page just to check that my insides weren't coming out. It turns out this is quite normal (as is being completely blocked up, depending on how your body does it's detox thing) and will settle in a few days. I have been advised to take the tablets only once a day, instead of twice a day, until it stops. Also to note that there is no pain, and there shouldn't be. Good to know.

I know I shouldn't have... but I weighed myself this morning. After feeling like complete crap overnight, I wanted to know if this was working, if it was worth continuing. I'll just say that it is, and leave the results until after Day 11 like I'm meant to. I'm swinging wildly between 'I-need-to-do-this-and-don't-care-what-it-takes' and 'I-don't-care-anymore-I-just-want-a-Pepsi-Max-and-a-block-of-Dairy-Milk'. I'm sure the next two days of cleansing will break me, but I'm determined to get my money's worth!

Realistically, I need to do this for another 50kgs, so there is no going back now. I'm apparently through the hard days now and just need to keep up the momentum. I seriously do not want to start again and have headaches and stupid cravings so there is no way I'm stopping. I also need to stop giving in to my inner child and having all the things... this is how I've gotten to be 60kgs overweight, so a few months of 'missing out' is surely well-deserved.

Further updates tomorrow. Yay for cleansing! (I hope)

Isagenix Day 2

Today was more difficult than yesterday - I had a couple of hurdles!

I woke up bright and early, had my shake and my supplements, and headed out to meet my mum. My cali club has a storage unit which has not been cleaned out for many years - it's full of stuff we don't use, and we have no room for the stuff we do need to store. As a summer project, we've vowed to clean it out, get rid of stuff, organise it better, and hopefully reduce the size of the unit (and the cost!).

We spent a couple of hours there, and then went to lunch before seeing a movie. We lunched at a burger joint, so I had a kids' meal of a chicken schnitzel with cheese and some chips. Not the best choice for my only meal of the day (needed veg!) but the best choice from the place we were at. I had bought my own water and snacks to the movie so was set for the afternoon. Mum and my aunty both had icecreams and I really felt like I missed out, but felt good for sticking to the plan.

After the movie I headed home and felt a bit off. Very tired, lethargic, headachey and generally bleurgh, so I went to bed for a nap. My husband woke me up after about an hour or so, and I had a meal replacement bar. The thought of a shake made me feel a bit gross, so instead of digging in to the tuna bake my husband had made, this was the next best thing. I'm yet to take my evening supplements, but I will get to them before bed.

Looking back on the day, I don't think I drank anywhere near enough water. The storage unit work was a lot of walking up and down the flight of stairs, to and from the rubbish pile, and quite warm inside with no ventilation. I only drank a couple of mouthfuls of water in the 3 hours we were there, and that threw me for the rest of the day. The lack of vegetables also played a part, so tomorrow's lunch will be chock-full of them!

I sent a message to my sponsor and she mentioned that it's normal to feel a bit gross in the first few days but this should pass after my first deep cleanse (the day after tomorrow). I'm off now to take my tablets and go to bed. If nothing else, this is making me go to bed earlier and sleep more, because sleeping means not thinking about food!

The beginning of something more.

Today I started Isagenix. It's a nutritional cleansing program that makes no promises about curing diseases or giving you ridiculous weight loss results. What it does promise is to change the way you think about food, and to change the way you feel when you eat the right things.

Yes, it's a shake-based program. But you also get to eat real food, and you don't starve yourself. Depending on your goals you can also use the program to put on weight (lean muscle or general weight gain). It's not a quick-fix. It's not a short term solution. It's a way of life that you can change and adapt to suit your current situation. It can grow and change with you, and that's what I like about it.

I like that it doesn't promise anything. That it isn't just a weight-loss program. That as my goals change, it will change with me. There are solutions for obese people, for bodybuilders, for Olympic athletes.

So what are my goals? My very good friend who introduced me to the program asked me to set some goals - both short term and medium term. What do I want?

SHORT TERM
In the next 30 days, I have a couple of goals.
1. Lose 5kg
2. Run 5km
3. Attend parkrun at least once

MEDIUM TERM
In the next 3 months, I have more goals.
1. Lose 15kg
2. Run 5km in less than 50 minutes
3. Finish OpMove 6 week program beginning 1st Jan

So what do I think of Isagenix so far?

I've had a shake for breakky, a meal for lunch, a small snack, and am just about to have another shake for dinner. I've also had some supplements throughout the course of the morning. My lunch was a terrible choice for a lunch meal (a creamy pasta bake type thing) as it means I've had no veg today, and no meat. The meal should consist of some protein, some carbs, and some fat - so this definitely was not ideal. Tomorrow I will make better choices for my lunch, for sure! We have some steak and salad ingredients so I'll be having that.

I've drunk about 2 litres of water today, and will probably drink another 500ml or so with my shake and further supplements for dinner. I'm not that hungry, but I have sat on the couch all day doing nothing, so I wouldn't have any reason to be hungry anyway!

I'm liking it so far, and I can't wait to see where it takes me in the next few months.

What's my 'why'?

Your ‘why’ is your reason for doing what you do. Your reason for getting up in the morning, for slogging through a workout, for choosing a better food.

What’s my ‘why’? Why do I want to change? Why do I want to do this?

I want to do this to stop being the fat girl. I want to stop feeling horrible, having stomach cramps, and stop my pants cutting into my stomach after lunch. I want to stop worrying about chaffing, to avoid the pain of my upper thighs rubbing together resulting in friction burns that sting and scab. I want to feel normal when eating – to not worry about what other people think when I order food, when I’m eating food, when I’m around food. I want to walk into a clothes shop and try on everything, and BUY everything, just because I can. I don’t want to worry about whether I will have something to wear to an event, or even just for the weekend.

I want to stop making food the focus of my life, and make LIVING the focus of my life. To be strong and healthy and confident in who I am, instead of faking it all the time. To run, to lift, to play. Not for exercise, but because it’s what I do.

That’s my ‘why’.

The times they are a-changing

I've come to the realisation these past two days - I have lived a life of indulgence, and this is why I am where I am today. I always give in to temptations, say yes more than I say no, and am over the top more often than not.

These past two days, I have attended two BBQ-type functions with nibbles galore. Sitting around the table at both events, I decided I would make a conscious effort not to eat whatever I wanted, but to watch what other people eat, sample some things, and try not to overeat.

This has made me realise that at an event like this in the past, I would seriously overeat. Ridiculously. Interestingly though, both yesterday and today, I don't feel like I missed out. I ate things that I wanted to eat, I held back from being a piggy... and I feel good about it.

I ordered my first 30 days' worth of my new program, and was keen to start before the New Year began. I sought advice from other people using the program, and given the fact of the silly season coming up and the next 10 days being filled with occasions to celebrate, I have taken their advice not to begin until the New Year. There are just too many excuses, too many reasons for it not to work. They're afraid I'll not experience the results that are traditionally experienced in the first 30 days, get disheartened, and give up.

The advice though, was to get a start on some other healthy aspects of the regime - drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep, and reducing my intake of certain foods (sugar, stimulants).  I'm excited!

A month of improving

There wasn't much personal stuff while I did my 30 day blog challenge, so I thought I would tell you what's been happening here in my world.

WORK
I had been out of work for what seemed like forever after leaving my trolley pushing job and moving to the other side of town. I finally was able to sign up with an agency for temp work and got my first assignment just over a week ago. It was a 3 week assignment, but the general vibe is that I'll stay on permanently, which is an awesome feeling. The company I'm working for tends to hire temps and then make them permanent if things work out - and all signs point to this happening for me. One of the girls from cali works there (I didn't even know until I walked in that first day) and she's been in the boss's ear about keeping me on. I seem to be keeping up with KPIs and accuracy hasn't been a concern. So woo!

HUSBAND
He has been unhappy in his job for a while now - he's worked in the same place for 11 years, they're just not treating him well and he's had a gutful. He was waiting until I sorted myself out before telling me that he's miserable (what a gem!) and now is on the hunt for something closer to home. I'm hoping that will sort itself out sooner rather than later as he has an interview on Wednesday for a new job.

FITNESS
I'm pretty happy with my fitness at the moment - I just need to be a little more consistent with it. My running has come a long way in the month - I'm up to 8 minute intervals with short rests and will soon be running the 5km loop locally without stopping. Some days are easier than others, but I'm enjoying it. Strength training needs to become a bit more a priority because at the moment it's non-existant!

FOOD
Food is and always will be a struggle. Balance is difficult with my raging sugar addiction, but I'm slowly getting the mindless eating under control and stopping when I become robotic about it. I'm looking to start a new food program in the New Year, which I'll be sure to update you on.

CALI
Cali is finished for the year, but I don't get much of a break as the solo season starts soon (practices begin just after Christmas) and we're also running a Summer School for a few days in January to hopefully spark some interest or reignite the flame for others. Then normal classes resume in the first week of Feb so I really won't have too much of a break. Just the way I like it! I have retired from competing though... which is sad, but something I need to do in order to refresh myself and continue to love the sport for what it is. It's my time to impart my knowledge and love on others, instead of grinding myself to the bone week after week. My muscles aren't built for that anymore and my bones started to complain this year too. This next chapter will be exciting and a big change for me.

INSPIRATION
A dear friend has had gastric bypass today - both she and I have struggled greatly with weight over the years, but her struggle has come to breaking point. She is my inspiration to keep at it, and I know we inspire each other when we have the right attitude towards everything.

That's all, I think!

Until next time...