Looking back on the year

This year has been a ride, that's for sure!

I'm sitting here in a house we moved into 2 months ago, feeling the kicks of the baby we so dearly wanted, trying to plan out how the nursery will be set up. I'm looking at boxes containing the pram and car seat that we're too scared to open because we heard it's bad luck to open them too early. I'm wondering when exactly it is that I'm allowed to set them up? How early is too early? Apparently we need to get the car seat fitted before the baby arrives, but when do we do that without bringing on the bad luck? Where's the line between being organised and being slack? How far can we push it? Can my husband ring the fitters while I'm in labour? Do I leave him to put the pram together while I'm pushing?

It's getting to that time now where I'm looking forward to what's coming next for our little family, but at the same time I'm spending a lot of time reflecting on the year that's been. This time last year I was excited to be 'trying'. We'd just moved back to my side of town to be closer to my family after spending 3 years living an hour away. I had just been given the fantastic opportunity to take over the calisthenics club I love, and started a new temporary job with an agency. My husband had quit his job and was due to start a new one in the new year.


Fast forward 12 months and we're getting ready to welcome the baby. We both stayed in the same jobs and my husband is currently gunning for a promotion that will see him earn a bit more (woo!) but also be more challenged mentally, rather than physically as he is now. I really hope he gets it - he's worked hard for the last 12 months to build a rapport with the company and prove that he's there for the long haul. I'm worried that if he doesn't get it, he'll need to look for a new job with a new company and start again from the bottom - he's stressing that we won't have enough money once I stop working to look after bubs. It will be tight, we always knew that, but he's feeling the pinch to earn more. It's sad that it's not feasible for me to go back to work full-time - we've been doing our research and full-time child care coupled with my current wage will actually leave us worse off financially than me not working and receiving some benefits from the government. I may be able to pick up some part-time work with the agency I began this job with, but child care isn't something I can arrange if I get a phone call to temp somewhere... so for now I'll be looking after the house and bubs and the hubster will be the sole breadwinner. Scary stuff!

Even scarier is the prospect of actually having this kid. Up until now, my life has been about me, and then about my husband and myself. Now there's someone else we have to consider, and even more than just consider. For the next 20 years at least, someone else is ALWAYS going to come first. Our needs and wants will take a back seat to keeping this kid alive - at least for the first few months! After that it's all about making them happy, giving them the best start, and teaching them how to be a great human being. It's questioning our choices, walking the fine line between giving them everything and spoiling them rotten. It's making endless decisions, falling down and getting back up. I hope we're ready because there's really no going back now..

Cheers to a relaxing end to 2015 and welcome to 2016!